Always There

So, I am struggling with this. I don't know if anyone can help me in this situation. You know as soon as you stop thinking of someone, someone that once meant a lot to you, they just happen to show up. It's almost like they're reading your mind. Like they say" Katie stopped thinking about or stopped wanting to see me, I should just show up!" It's vicious! Satan is vicious! I detest him! I cannot wait until the day he is defeated! Till Christ reigns the Earth. Although, by then I will be with Christ. But I just can't stand it. Here we are, him and I. We both graduated, talked very little over the summer. Then, I start my job and I begin looking through pictures on my computer from the guy before, and there he is. Right in the middle of the picture! I figured, only me. So, I figured that's very ironic. So, of course, being weak me, I text him, telling him of the ironic situation. We talked for a little bit, and that was that. But being weak me again, I say "hey, we should do lunch". Stupid me. So, a week ago I find myself out to lunch with him. It was a great lunch, don't get me wrong. He has actually changed which was awesome to see, but it's so hard to go and see him without getting a little bit of feelings back for him. Then today, summed it all up. I was walking out of my building to run to my car, and low and behold, I look to my left and I see his work truck. So, being dumb and smitten me, I text him, asking him if he was working over there, and sure enough, he is. I wanted so badly for him to say "do you want to get lunch?". But he did not, I am now relieved. But I still want to him to ask me. Is there something wrong with this? Why do I constantly still want to be with him? My question for myself is, why did I not stop him from the start, or stop myself from even beginning to like him? I knew I could never really be with him, unless I wanted to completely disappoint a few people. My prayer, Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalms 61:1-2